If My Dog Could Talk

If My Dog Could Talk
- Dog: WAT DOING
- Me: Nothing. I just stood up.
- Dog: WHERE GO
- Me: I'm literally walking 3 feet away. I'm not even leaving the room.
- Dog: CAN I COME
- Me: I mean sure but I'm literally just-
- Dog: I COME TOO
- Dog: WAT DOING
- Me: I need to open this door.
- Dog: I HALP
- Me: No but you're in front of the door. Move please.
- Dog: I HALP
- Me: Sigh.
- Dog: WHERE GOING
- Me: I am going right back to the exact place I was sitting a second ago.
- Dog: CAN I COME
- Me: Sure.
- Dog: I SIT IN LAP
- Me: No please don't you are-
- Dog: I SIT IN LAP
- Me: No there's no room and-
- Dog: LAP
- Me: No, sit on the floor and I'll pet you.
- Dog: RIGHT HERE
- Me: That's literally on top of my leg.
- Dog: IT'S PERFECT PET ME
- Me: I am petting you. One second, let me just grab my glass-
- Dog: PET ME PET ME PET ME PET ME
- Me: I literally am petting you, I just needed a drink-
- Dog: PET ME PET ME PET ME PET ME
- Me: I AM
- Dog: I SIT IN LAP
- Dog: PET ME PET ME PET ME
- Dog: HOLD SLOBBER TOY
- Dog: SNEEZE IN UR FACE
- Me: .......
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